The Run Is All That Matters

I got beaned in the nose by a softball today, and for a split second I thought my nose was broken.  It's been quite a while since I've posted a gross-out story, so allow me to indulge my nastier side.

I was at 3rd base, and was thinking, "if it's on the ground: run home; if it's in the air: hold up."  Kent came up to bat and hit it straight down the 3rd base line.  It was on the ground, so I started running.  I got maybe a step or two when it took an amazing bounce, right into my face.  It smashed into my sunglasses, and I was glad I put them on.  It didn't really hurt, rather, my whole face felt numb.  I put my hand up to my nose: it was still pointed in the right direction and wasn't bleeding, so I ran home. I was careful to step on the base before heading towards the sidelines.

I took my hand away from my face, and saw the facial expressions of the people around me change.  "Is my nose bleeding?" I asked, even as I looked down at my hand and saw blood.  It was right about then, as I was walking towards Dave (who I knew would have the first aid kit) that I felt the blood welling up inside.  I pressed my hand against the sides of my nose, to stop it from spilling out.  I felt a tiny crunchy crackling sensation on the right side, and started to panic just a little bit. I was scared to breath through my nose, and so began to breath through my mouth.  I realized that I was breathing very quickly, and then I concentrated on the fact that I WAS breathing and so I would be okay, until my breathing slowed to normal.

The blood poured out when I released my nose in order to get a gauze pad in place. Dave also fished out a cold pack for me to hold over the bridge of my nose (per Abby's advice).  I spent the rest of the game sitting on the sidelines , squeezing my nose with one hand and icing my nose and forehead with the other. I leaned slightly forward to keep the blood from sliding down the back of my throat.  Once I sat upright, and felt a clump of something making it's way down my sinuses and into my mouth.  I spit out a big clot of mostly blood (with some mucus and saliva thrown into the mix) into the grass. Dave was so grossed out that he actually scooped up some dirt and covered the blob, like a carnie throwing down sawdust to soak up all the vomit from the tilt-a-whirl. It took about 25 minutes for the bleeding to stop.  By then I had soiled 2 large gauze pads, 2 smaller pads, and one of Will's old t-shirts

After the game we walked back to the car, me dabbing at my nose to catch the occasional drop of blood loosened up by the jarring motion.  Back at the car, I used the mirror to see how bad I looked.  My nose was definitely swollen, and there was some dried blood on my upper lip and on the right side of my face.  I tried wiping up the blood on the side of my nose, but it was stubborn and the alcohol from the wet nap I was using actually stung.  On closer inspection, I found that I actually had a scrape on that side of my face.  By now I was breathing through my nose again.  The right side was relatively clear, but the left side felt very congested.

Traffic downtown was slightly more congested than normal because of the Printer's Row Book Fair.  A fat traffic attendant waved at us to stop even though the light was green, and we jerked to a halt.  The jolt loosened something large, and I felt it slide down the back of my throat.  I smelled alcohol as I spit a great gob of congealed blood and mucus into the wet nap.  Now the left side of my nose was finally clear!